September 11, 2017

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Being ME, Unapologetically

September 11, 2017


Sassy, Creative and Empathetic...........3 words that I would use with confidence to describe myself.  


It's hasn't always been easy to find words that felt organic to who I really am.  I spent far to many years trying to be who and what someone else wanted me to be.  One of the life lessons I learned, the hard way, was that being who someone else wanted me to be, never made me happy.  Not only was I unhappy, but I found myself apologizing for things that weren't even mine to own.  I craved love and validation so desperately that I sacrificed my identity and eventually lost myself.  If you had asked then for 3 words to describe me, I would have been at a loss.  


Today, I still search for love and validation, but I have turned my focus to myself.  Years of dysfunctional relationships, dystemic depression, eating disorders and a whole lot of other baggage, have left me with a huge emotional mess.  Some days my head feels like a category 5 hurricane has met with an 8.0 earthquake in the middle of open heart surgery, there is devastation and destruction everywhere!  But piece by piece, the damage is getting cleaned up, organized, junk that no longer serves me is being thrown out, my wounds are closing and healing.  I can see progress is being made, and I also see there is a lot of work still to be done.  All of it, the good, the bad, the disappointment, the failure, the hard lessons and life experiences, make me who I am.  I'm owning my story, and I'm not apologizing for it anymore.  Love me or hate me, that's no longer my concern.  I like who I am becoming, and finally, it feels so good Being ME, Unapologetically.      




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